John Bilsky <<udaleaf>>
writes:

I just received this from a very dear lady friend in Hope, Idaho
who has repeatedly told me that I need to be put on a 12 Step Program. I do not
know her source but I thought I'd share it since it may help many others who are
also in need. JB 12 ? Step Program to bring Hang-gliding under control Steps:

1) Work on recognition and acceptance that although you can relate everything in
life to hang gliding, not everyone "gets-it." And you may need to use different
analogies. Start using non hang-gliding analogies once a day and increase to
three times a day. When this becomes internalized proceed to step two.

2) Deny yourself one day of hang-gliding/year entirely, just to de-sensitize
yourself to the addiction. This day has to be a day where the conditions are
favorable for flying: i.e. no doggers - minimum 20 minute hang-time would be
achievable.

3) Deny yourself one day of actual hang-gliding/year to reinforce the
de-sensitizing of the addiction (step 2). You must attend and watch all of your
hang-gliding buddies enjoying favorable conditions while you simply watch. Focus
on your feeling of envy and work on changing that envy to total acceptance. This
is a good time to invent non hang-gliding analogies.

4) Say it with me, "Dennis Pagen is not a god."

5) Practice looking at rises in the landscape and not seeing them all as
potential launches. Repeat this until a 50% reduction in these observations are
seen as potential launches.

6) Practice looking at clear open grassy areas with anything from a small to a
huge launch above and not seeing them as a potential LZ. Repeat this until a 50%
reduction in these observations are seen as potential LZ's.

7) Don't criticize eagles for their landings or pull up next to them and offer
advice on riding thermals. It's blasphemy and should never be done!

8) Practice observing the weather from a non-hang-gliding perspective: Not all
thermals, ridge lift, mountain waves and convergence have to do with
hang-gliding. Example: Thermal underwear; a nose job that focuses on the portion
directly between the eyes; rows and rows of mountains seen as deeper in color
the closer they are to the observer and lighter and lighter as the mountains
appear in the distance ( ); and, lastly, the movement of two tectonic plates
coming closer - respectively.

9) Paragliders are pilots too. Say it with me, "Paragliders are pilots too."
Internalize this.

10) Maneuvers, such as loops, spins, rollovers and climb-overs can all be
utilized to describe a drunkard trying to get from point A to point B ? Remember
this always! So can "crash and burn!"

11) "Cloud suck" could be a term that Noah used as he was rushing to beat those
first drops of rain. Really, you must be diligent in understanding every term or
word does not always relate to hang-gliding!!!!

12) The final step of this 12-step program (and arguably the most fun step) is
to very closely align yourself with a fun and exciting partner that can take
your mind off of hang-gliding and show you there are other activities out there
that are equally or even more fun and addictive! Repeat that activity until you
are a believer and then repeat some more! ? Remember ?not too many people have
died during sex, but most want to!